The fair is not fair

04 Sep
The fair is not fair because of scenes like this. Tonight, I will have nightmares.

Today, my wife and I went to the The Fair. I saw this creepy trash can and tried to die. Failing that, we caused shenanigans. My loving, patient, and slightly twisted* wife was amused, which always motivates me, and The ‘Hodas and The Neckers were there too. Mr Corn came, and since he’s a hell of a chef but still looks intimidating, we have a heck of a time. Secky and Bam were there as well, and from the two times we met, they seem like they’re a-ok. The Stewer and Miss Clinton couldn’t make it, but next time. Anyway. The Fair.

The morning started with 2 shots of espresso. The Buzz was secondary, but caffeine breaks down into a smooth muscle relaxer which in turn affects your colon. In short – Coffee make Chris want Poop and hoo boy, does Chris poop after espresso. Great. 15 minutes until we leave the house and I’ve already pooped. Seriously, have you ever been in a bathroom at The Fair? People can peek at you through the door when you’re pooping. Much better done at home.

I hop in the shower. I get dressed. I do not eat, rather, I pack 1.25 gallons of water in my camelback for me and my blushing bride and we go to the bus! We meet Mr and Mrs ‘Hoda. Mr ‘Hoda has a wonderful, sweet wife who keeps both of us men on track. We high-fived strangers, hugged strangers, at good food, and laughed. One vendor at the fair caught my eye in particular.

Salem Lutheran Church's stand, run ENTIRELY by volunteers.
Salem Lutheran Church runs this entirely with volunteers.

Swedish Egg Coffee. They make it. They make it right here and now you can learn to make your own. .

They mix a whole raw egg with 3/4 cup of coffee grounds. They boil 9 cups of coffee and then they stir it and boil it for nine whole minutes. Then they add the rest of the grounds and the egg and let it spin and harden. You will have the mellowest, most low-acid coffee you’re ever going to taste again. EVER.

There, I’ve done you a favor. You’re welcome. You can shoot me one back in the afterlife.

Do you do egg coffee or ANY coffee in a different manner stove top, firetop, or with some other kind of equipment?  I would love the recipes and processes.

Just leave them as comments. Good night, folks.

Seriously. *because seriously. She married ME.

1 Comment

Posted by on September 4, 2012 in Uncategorized


One response to “The fair is not fair

  1. Amanda

    September 4, 2012 at 11:32 am

    We had so much fun!! I do iced coffee a la Pioneer Woman – soak grounds in water overnight, strain, enjoy. šŸ™‚ I'm sad I didn't get any Swedish egg coffee, but it was too dang hot for that. šŸ™‚ -Mrs. Hoda


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